07/08/08 Research week

Live Art Development agency archive was the focus of today's visit to London, gathering further research into ways to deal with my audience. I'm still focusing on working towards a performance that involves a tour, walk of some sort around Hertford, including a trip to my flat and possibly my studio, site specific sensitivity, physical movement, and dialogue, either chatty or pre-record extracts. Spending time watching the film by Pope and Gutheridge's about the Bataville shoe factory, helped me question ways to deal with the public and audience during the tour. Points raised from this: 

- Introduce past work to audience during performance, when there already involved in current performance.

- Video at studio

I also had a thought today that maybe the idea of 'authentic' is getting too literal. the Penny's dropped a bit that what I'm doing, the simple act of placing my studio into the gallery space is challenging authenticity already. Maybe the authenticity is questioned in a subtler way. maybe what I'm already doing is questioning authenticity without making it obvious? That leaves me with a problem with what will the work exist as? If its not consciously about Hertford and my inhabitant here, what will the content be. A little confused now. Need to have a think.

I'm feeling rather anxious tonight, because I have decided to visit some performance work at the fringe this weekend, and not sure if it was the right thing to do, considering I move into the gallery on Monday. Well its booked now, so I'm going but I feel anxious about it. This evening I felt like running away from it all, work, residency, home life, I'm getting anxious about the most mundane of situations at the moment and my priorities are confused along with my ability to see things within the bigger picture. I'm giving everything the same weighting, being on time to meet somebody and making a successful performance for the 30th. My heads spinning and the nerves I guess are starting to show. Residencies often have that effect I have found. I want to please everyone but I know that's impossible. I need to be able to embrace those not happy with me, I'm mean I'm making art for Christ sake, why would everyone be pleased by it. Getting messy, but off to Edinburgh tomorrow so will be next writing on my return.